Saturday, May 27, 2006
Saturday April 29, 2006
Day 2 on the wellbutrin and I feel fine. Good, focused, in total control and all that crap... So I goes to the Dr., see, and I am all like, YO!!! gimme the 'butrin, yo... and he was all like shakin' in his boots, tooks some notes on his comp, which I took to be like details of the last minutes of his life... He wrote me out a 'script so fast it would make your head spin... Then I'm all like, YO!!! I gots the ADD thing, doc.. filler up... and he suddenly was all like, no, I don't think so, you need a shrink for that... I figured I would let this slide... so I am all like YO!!! my back, it hurts like ALL the time, I'm chronic, yo... and he all puffs up and is like, uh-uh... WTF!?! So I says, I thinks I gots the glaucoma, my eyes are all sticky all the time and, yo, it hurts... how about some of that medical chronic, yo... at this point he is stone cold dissin' on me... all lookin' at his watch and clearing his throat like he has someplace better he has to be... I am all like, what just happened??? They're all button'n up their coats and turnin' out the lights and all I got is some 'butrin... So yeah, am on my 3rd dose, comin' up on time for my next... that second one of the day rolls up on ya nice an smooth... interestingly, the dr. gave me 2 refills for some reason... DNA only got one... heh... So, yeah, I have some nice focus going on, payin the attention to things and stuff, and some energy... funny thing is, I can focus on something in particular and get all caught up in it, or I can focus on nothing at all and get all caught up in it... kinda fun... so the energy, I got nothing to do with it... or everything I could be doing with it I guess... Already cleaned the kitchen, thinking about cleaning the bathroom... could spend all day cleaning around here, unfortunately... lots of work to be done... Haven't stopped smoking, yet, though... Supposed to keep smoking for a few days, let the drugs build up in your system... they suggest going on the patch for a while, guess it would be 3 weeks, until you get over it... I am going to just freeball it, stop abruptly... I figure I will try to change a few habits all at once, like do something different with my time in the morning, the time I would normally smoke, maybe do some exercise (?!?!?) or something... I have come to figure that most of what I am doing is habit based... I do the same things in the same order at the same time pretty consistently... not like rainman or anything, but the habits are deep and intertwine with each other, so if I am going to change one of them I should change all of them... break all the cycles to get out of the big deep groove... oh, and I think I will try to lose 10 to 15 lbs... yep, thats all... should probably try to keep it off, too... that would be good... So, I am hoping that wednesday will be the quit day, so next Saturday will be day 3, so I will blog the heck out of that, eh? since all the ladies in my life will be gone all weekend and I will be without transportation... Posted 4/29/2006 at 3:13 PM |
Thursday April 27, 2006
Or so I imagine... Had a pleasant bus ride, really, got kinda zen'd out... Music playin' low, sausage sittin accross the aisle from me, sunrise over the valley, I just chilled... I have spoke of these moments before, it is like a sense of calm comes over me... I was noticing today that is was like a good feeling, like I was feeling good... Not tired, not anxious, not hungry or overly caffienated... just even... And it continues... and I am pleased with myself... Mentioned going to the Dr. today, I really am, can't make that shit up... so I will go there and I imagine that the dr. is going to be all like "so whats up", like, what do you want... and I will be all like, hey, I wanna quit smoking... I have been smoking for a long time, the old lady is quiting, I am not enjoying it, etc... and I really am not... Heh, LIES... most of the time I feel like a total knob... avoiding walking with people so I can sneak in a smoke before work, hiding outside so the kids won't see me, always scared that my momma might drive by and see me smokin' while I walk down the road... I read something about this, about how it makes you a second class citizen not only because others see it as a bad thing, but because of the guilt and hiding you have to do... so yeah, that part sucks... but dude, part of me is concerned, frightened even... how will I fill up my time? For real, people that don't have this habit probably are aware of this, maybe other smokers aren't either, but much of what I do (at least) is gauged on how long it takes to smoke... the act of walking to work from the bus stop is deeply embedded with how long it takes to smoke... I know where to start smoking on my journey so I get done at just the right spot outside the building... and time is very abstract in comparison to that... time is smoke... driving somewhere is often gauged on how many can be smoked... getting ready for bed at night involves the ritual of stepping outside for one last one... trips to the store often involve going to the store that carries your brand even if it ain't the closest or most convenient... Oh, and the ultimate, the coffee and smoke first thing in the morning... All these things, in varying degrees, they blow my mind... I know it is a habit, it is a habit on top of an addiction... it really is the ritual in conjunction with appeasing the demons... very intertwinned... so it is not only the act of quiting, but filling up the time that is defined by the smoking... changing the habit... The wellbutrin will help with that... that shit really evens how the withdrawls... it's not like being high or anything, you just don't get that peak of pain and suffering that occurs... I know the drill, I know it well, having quit several times... the first couple days, they ain't so bad... usually the end of day 3 is the worst... that is where all hell starts to break loose... if you can get past that you can just kinda glide to the end of the first week... somehow around day 7 or 8 your mind starts playing tricks on you and somehow smokes magically appear... you realize it when you are standing in line to buy them, something you were hoping you would never do again, but you do it anyway, cause you are there, eh... can't just turn away... after a couple weeks, you feel proud, your kicked it, eh? what was the big deal, damn, it was easy, it wasn't really a habit anyway, hell, you could have quit at any time... I wonder what it was about them anyhow... I bet I could have one and wouldn't even enjoy it, yeah, oh, but I won't... won't go near them... Ah, tragidy... something terrible has happened, I.. I don't know how to handle this... if I still smoked I would have a smoke right now and everything would be fine.. yeah, maybe I should smoke right now.. no, yes... I will just buy ONE pack, everything will be good after that... everything will be fine and I can stop again... nothing wrong with slipping a little bit, the books say not to beat yourself up over it, just get back on the wagon, so yeah, I will just get one pack and when that is gone I will be done... Then you are smoking again... right back to where you were before... not just one every couple days or something, but right back to your old routine... Yeah, I have been through that a few times... at first it is akward, me and the old lady pretending it ain't happening, then accidentally being outside smoking together again, feeling sheepish, shit... You would think that having done this a few times it would be easier... but the mind is a funny thing... chemicals, chemical levels, pain, all that stuff, it all pops up... after soo long, even with the misc starts and stops, my "normal" is not natural... my mind and body will need to learn how to get back to the way they were so long ago... It is exciting... kinda like driving in reverse... and HEY, putting it all out there, that kinda ups the stakes a bit... now EVERYONE will know... Keys to my success will involve: Not eating everything in sight... I get these hankerins for fatty greasy foods... gotta watch that... Uh, whats it called, remembering that the moment will pass... now is not forever... yeah... Avoid easy fail situations... shouldn't be so hard, as long as me and the old lady stay on the same page we won't be temptin each other (well, there is always some temptin, but that has nothin to do with smokin)(well, not this kind of smokin' but THAT kind of smokin')... since I don't hang out in bars or anywhere else for that matter I should be good... Shit, I don't know... feels like I am airing out all my dirty laundry... I think I will make this post really small... font wise... or actually , just let it peter out... end abruptly and with no closure... sorry you invested so much time in this... hopefully I will get really freaky later... give ya'll something to drool over... Posted 4/27/2006 at 11:49 AM |
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Wednesday April 26, 2006
The sausage on the bus has been getting off a couple stops earlier than usual. This is fine... we don't play the games we used to, have been very careful not to sit by him (lest I get smelled on) and there are no more pulling the stop cord games... he is gimpy... so we got the tranny, the jogger and the sausage all getting off at the same stop... that leaves me avoiding eye contact with the NEW freaky chick on the bus... she actually tried to make conversation with me a couple weeks ago... asked me if my Zen Micro was an iPod... which kinda got my imaginary panties in a bunch as Apple is also on my boycott list (just because) and she didn't really want to know... I started to talk and she bust right in showing me her shuffle... blah blah blah, she said... Problem is, you see, that somewhere along the line I developed this ability to appear as if I am paying attention and wrapped up in the conversation without actually being there, ask my lovely wife, she is amazed at my ability... my one true gift? I hope not... anyhow, I have to avoid the eye contact, wish means I usually end up staring at her feet... she wears the clothes that are too tight, she is very white... my description of her really doesn't do her justice, I am sure... lets just leave it at her being someone I would try to avoid in all social type situations... she appears to be one of those people that are new to the whole urban melting pot situation... you know what I mean... I don't... Yo, people, suckin' down the coffee, this might get good... gimme a minute... Uh, the weather is getting nice, yeah... my buddy in Toronto is gonna throw me a bone if he wins the lotto on Friday... uh... shit... that ain't interesting... I bore myself... uh, a dude that likes the bears is called a trapper, heh... damn... seriously... shit... Had this dream last night, kinda strange, not sure what was going on... I was at like my cousins house or something, and I was screwing around with the laptop doing all these fantastic things, but noone was impressed, then I was outside with my lovely wife, and there was this manmade lake, and I went wading into the water, then I was in this boat kinda just floating along and I came to this path and I started going up it, I knew there was like something special at the top but I wasn't sure if I wanted the hassle of going all the way over the top, so I noticed that there were like these hedgehogs or something all kinda stuck in these holes like they wee scared so I went over to check them out and it was cool and damp I remember... so I headed back towards the path and then Jessica and Fiona were with me and Jessica had to pee... she wanted me to take her down to the starbucks, and I was all like hell no, you can go over here, so she was fine with that and I held her up while she peed and peed ... then they wanted to go swimming, and there was this shower nozzle there, so I got under the water and started singing and suddenly it was like the world came alive, there was activity all over and the hedgehogs were all poking there heads up and one of them said to me "you're the one!"... it was like in the matrix, that kind of "one"... not like an accusation, more like they had just discovered their own personal jesus... then I woke up... Shit and Shenanigans... goddamn penny could roll under my desk and my I would get all emotional and shit today... WTF... I mean really, I must be like pre-manstrel or something... looked at my paycheck online and got all weirded out... for no reason... nice paycheck and all... I feel all puffy and ugly and uh, teched... yeah... Gonna have these 2 indian dudes come and watch me for a while, from somewhere like Bangelore or something... good enlish but really heavy on the accent... they are pretty cool... 10000 miles from home and trying to keep themselves busy... so this will be interesting, considering my current flavor... I am hoping, that after I go and see the doctor tomorrow, and get me a script for some wellbutrin (to help me stop smoking) I will be all even keeled and shit... might throw in some chronic back pain and ADD while I am there, get ALL hooked up... I will be a walkin' pharmacy... get some of that experimental stuff, stuff that has only been tested on monkies and criminals... make my head big and want to follow the Grateful Dead (I know, I know, you know what I mean)... maybe develop some telekenetic powers, like in scanners or something... make things blow up or turn into other things... yeah... wonder where I can get this script filled... have to go down to the local mojo shaman dude... maybe, yeah, seriously, go on a spirit quest... DNA gots herself a Raven... Can mine really be a Catfish? The Catfish speaks to me... tells me what to do... sits (flops) on my shoulder and lips go pop-pop-pop... its not my decision... the spirit of the catfish compels me... Posted 4/26/2006 at 3:0 PM |
2 Comments
Friday April 21, 2006
Shit, hell, and dammit: http://www.hob.com/tickets/festivals/sasquatch/2006/ Now I normally don't really care about such things, but this is gonna be one hella good 3 day festival, almost as good as I would create with my lottery money... So, my heart breaks as I will be missing: Posted 4/21/2006 at 1:9 PM |
Friday April 21, 2006
what a mellow, zen like morning it has been so far... and should continue through the day... If you get a chance, take a look at this
Posted 4/21/2006 at 10:58 AM |
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Thursday April 20, 2006
Little bit tired, little bit cranky (maybe), feeling older and somewhat out of touch... Out of touch, not such a bad thing, as the things I often feel out of touch on (about? over?) are things I seem to hold in some sort of contempt anyhow... I think this out of touch thing really is confusing... I think it is starting... the dementia, that is... memory is shot, coffee holds no intrigue, no charge... don't think I could do any of the fun (illicit) stuff anymore, probably blow my mind... Prostate is flaring up... heh... no energy, lackadaisical, fluffernutter and shenanigans... big sigh... Although, I could just be tired and a touch depressed... they seem to go hand in hand... start thinking of unhappy things and imagining the worst... yeah... I don't know much of the bible, but I remember the story of Job... I often put myself in his shoes and imagine that the valleys I am in at times are just a challenge to my faith (although that is where the similarities end, I am not being hassled to forsake your favorite god... see previous posts on how it is really my world you are living in and/or how I am the only real sentient being)... Anyhow, I am thinking of starting another top secret society and/or movement... The CLF... Coffee Liberation Front... need to bring good coffee to the masses, turn them away from the evil empire... I figure if I get it going strong enough and make a big enough stink that THEM will pay me off to keep quiet and I can sell out and sit back on my piles of cash... You see, money makes it all better... can put up with many unimaginable evils if the paycheck has enough 0's on it... as long as they are at the end, hell, you know what I mean... Ok, it is several hours later... I have much caffeine coursing through me... I am just like Morrissey in that song about having the caffeine in his bloodstream, but a lack of real spice in his life... and, also like Morrissey, the "Fella's" seem to be getting that springtime feeling... they are buzzing around like, uh, yeah, bees to honey... heh, I am the honey pot to their winnie the pooh... oohh, comparing a "fella" to winnie the poo... kinda something something, you know, dirty... Funny, the other "guys" around here seem to be getting that springtime buzz also... watching the girls coming and going to the evil coffee place accross the street... now, I am not claiming to be a saint, but consider this: 1) My lady is sooo fine 2) I sit "next" to the windows, but really am next to the brick wall that holds the window up... I have no direct line of site to view any traffic except for the tiniest sliver which gives me about 1/10th of a second view, so by the time it registers it is too late... Anyway, bees are buzzing, stuff is in the air, I seem to be giving off a gay vibe still... Even later now... OK, not sure what the hell is going on as I have never really spent MANY hours outside a starbucks, but they appear to be putting something into their coffee... either that or they built on the location of an ancient whorehouse or something... Over the last couple days we have been witness to: an older couple getting seriously busy in the front seat of their SUV... really going at it... hands traveling to exotic locations, jerky movements, jockeying for position... yeah... for a long long time... then there were tears and they started all over again... I was imagining that it was their last fling, the dude was going back to his wife and his secretary was gonna have to get a new job since it would be too akward working together any longer... it was that real... Just now, this couple, they had been sitting outside, got up, went about 15 feet closer to the street and started, uhh, started being all funky... they were directly in front of the door, say 20 feet away, and they were doing some smooching, really heavy petting, spitting (what was up with that) and some magic... I call it magic cause the guy made his whole arm disappear into the gals pants... again there was some jerking around, strange movements... and they were unattractive people to boot... it was like a hog fight or something... hams slappin' together... then they broke it off, lit up a couple smokes, sat back down... luckily for them some worker gal came out with some free samples so they were able to replenish their energy... I am completely serious here... some sort of pheremones or something floating around... spanish fly in the coffee... cupid sniping from the rooftop... I am just amazed that people are sooo free to do all that in such a public place... you would think they would try to get out of the middle of the sidewalk, or not park next to the driveway or something... go over by the dumpster... Posted 4/20/2006 at 3:31 PM |
1 Comments
Tuesday April 18, 2006
When I went to bed last night, for a full 10 glorious minutes, I had a queen size bed all to myself... room aplenty... P.S. DarthJoseph... you will be a great father... your boy will have mad skills, you know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Posted 4/18/2006 at 12:50 PM |
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Monday April 17, 2006
So, yeah, the post below... It sucks Ass... for real.. (not this one... the one below this one... this one ROCKS!!!)... Except for the part about the lasers, and the chili burger, and the town of McHenry having its own website (WTF?!?)... Meant to say something like... "Tea was served at 4 every day" and "the Maitre De knew me by my first name" and "the bikini waxer had gentle and soft hands, like butterfly kisses"... stuff like that... Generally speaking, but very pointedly, I enjoyed spending time with the old lady, she was very nice and pleasant and shit, soft and warm and something something... Enjoyed coming home to the kids, although they seem to be all powerful and stuff... For real, they have super powers, Jessica has the super shriek (shreak?) and mega pout she uses to bend you to her will, Fiona has that perfect little girl coyness she WHIPS out, whapbang, and hits you right in the heart... Plus she uses common sense against you... my mortal weekness... Dude.. I felt kinda weird yesterday... Fiona and Jessica were all like "Why is easter a holiday" and I was all like, "well, you know, see, Jesus was killed and he was put in a tomb and then on Easter he, like, Rose or something..."... They were all like, "oh, is it gods birthday" and I was all like "uh, no..." and was trying to explain how Jesus, who is not god, came back to life and rolled this big ass rock away from the entrance to the tomb, but noone saw him do it, and so he came back to life... and I got real confused... this is the same kind of stuff I say when I am explaining some movies... you know, but trying to temper it so they don't think that people come to life all the time, and start getting scared, and then they usually ask me something like "is this truth or fiction?" and I would have to be like, "Uh, Fiction.. uh, truth, shit!"... Then, my fantastically smart and talented old lady was talking about how James (the preacher) was explaining how the Davinci Code was a load of crap, full of half truths and inacuracies, how Jesus was not married to whats her name, blah, blah... because there is no proof of any of this... and I was all like, Yeah, huh... then I started thinking, HOLD IT!!! In the book he HAD proof, all these manuscripts and other books of the bible that the Vatican had hidden away, it all was spelled out, pretty black and white... and then HOLD IT!!! Its a friggin book, right there on the back it says Fiction, so the dude can make whatever claims he wants, it ain't real, suspension of disbelief and all that crap... So then it occured to me... if you put Memoir on the back and enhance the truth a little bit, you get screwed, because Oprah says that Truth is absolute... If you write a fictional book where you claim to be telling the truth (in the fictional world) you get screwed because it could NEVER have happened that way (although Stephen King seems to be getting away with this crap all the time, where are the angry villagers with pitchforks there, eh???)... So yeah... I think if I ever do end up writing a book, I am going to have Reference on the back... or History... NO, yeah, How To... NO, DUDE, Self Help, yeah... Should get plenty of exposure down there... people be offin' themselve left and right... "but he said he had laser beams coming out his eyes" and "I thought it was a tumor and my head was going to explode" and "Pork" Speaking of Pork, I had one of my favorite meals this weekend, down in Olympia, at Saigon Rendezvous, Mongolian Tofu on Lo Mein... Oh yeah... there was a general lack of Pork in the dish, but it was Fantastic... you know I used to be a vegetarian... sometimes miss it... I don't eat that much meat anyhow... heh... Posted 4/17/2006 at 1:25 PM |
Monday April 17, 2006
I was pretty accurate in my predictions, I have forsight or something, eh??? I DO have a dark cloud of something something hanging over me today... how do I feel? I feel like a monster in a Japanese movie, the kind that doesn't realize they are a monster, think they are good, then lasers start coming out of their eyes and they get all evil and go on a rampage... I am waiting for the lasers so I can start getting super freaking freaky... hopefully they will not be the "lazer tag" kinda lasers that do no harm... that would suck... I need flames to erupt and people to be cut in half and shit... zzzzrttt!!! (screams of terror) Japanese midgets and scientists working overtime to solve the dilemma... Yeah... Had a good time with my lovely lady... she is super... she laughed, we talked, she whooped my ass a scrabble, seriously... I will post a post scrabble picture soon... Ate some killer food, drank some FANTASTIC coffee... sat in the car on the beach cause it was too friggin cold to go out in the elements... The biggest frying pan in the world? FAKE... bastards!!! Regrets? Yeah, keep thinking about this big ass chili burger we saw at this little restraunt/yarn store that I did not eat... I should have, I really should have.. it is going to haunt me forever now... shit... Hey!!! DNA is now (or soon to be) the Music Director AND accompanist (accompianist?) at her church... People love her, and I love her, and I can cross another thing off my lifes goal list as I have always wanted to do IT with a Music Director... although she is not quite yet the Music Director so we will have to do it after it becomes official (although the HIGH COUNCIL was pretty unanimous in their decision to have her do this thing there has been no "official" something something... eh, I will drop it now)... OK, so planning our trip to the Heartland (http://www.mchenrynd.com/)... Taking the train would be $1026 round trip... Taking the plane, well you can't.. well, you can, but it would be $1632... Taking the Bus (Greyhound) would be $632.00... Driving, that would put us at around $304 dollars, round trip, for gas... plus whatever sleeping arrangements we would want to make... I opt for driving, balls out, all the way... Hell, its only about 21 hours, actually 19.4 if I average 75 mph... shoot... Otherwise, we will need to stop in MT somewheres... previously we have gone through Boise to get to ND, but that is not really the most direct route and I would rather avoid Oregon (and Boise, hell, Idaho)... So we can hit the 90, stop in Misoula or something... Bust our asses accross the rest of MT and stay in Medora or Beach... I think we are going to end up in Medora on the way back anyhow, soooo... So I have 16 straight days off, 6 days travel time or so, a few days in ND (a week? uhhh)... hmmnn... this should be interesting... Anyhow, for now, this is all I got... will post up some pictures this evening... Posted 4/17/2006 at 11:58 AM |
Thursday April 13, 2006
6 in the mornin and I am half way through my first cup of coffee... 6 in the morning of the first day of my mini vacation, my and the old lady's anniversary, and I am up... The funny thing is that I actually slept in today, too... WTF... 6 in the morning, I have been up for an hour now, and I slept in... see what has become of my life?!? Disclaimer: say, just for the sake of argument, I do not crest the Mt. Everest of good times this weekend, be aware that I will potentially embellish the truth a little bit, make it kind of a Memoir if you will... take what I say with a grain of salt... Ye Be Warned!!! (heh) Posted 4/13/2006 at 9:58 AM |
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Tuesday April 11, 2006
This is my third attempt... Highlights from my failed attempts: Starbucks, facilities dudes, red-headed brother-in-laws, poon (2 points), life changing experiences at the ocean... Poon again (2 more points), XP, XP pro, wireless, big stick, things that make my ass tingle, wild animals blindly thrust into the bush... stuff like that... I am being distracted by 12 hours worth of work I have before my vacation begins, Bears with spider bites, an angry Korean who wants to dispute his results with the special oplympics committee, actual work, and an empty coffee cup (but full bladder, whats the connection???)... Oh, and my face is super smooth since I shaved my beaver (face pelt, muff) and I smell terrific... So, I leave you with this... You MUST watch this ... it is worth losing your job over... do it now... if you are not so sure, just read the first quote on this page here ... Posted 4/11/2006 at 1:29 PM |
Monday April 10, 2006
I think someone spiked my coffee... Really, feelin' funky... which, if you read back in my posts you (and I) will begin to recognize is not really that odd... hmmnnn... perhaps I am FEELING funky because I AM funky... not funky like "hey, what's that smell??" although I do here that a bit (alternately being called a dirty hippie or a lesbian, I am choosing to be a dirty lesbian) (my grandfather was lesbian, that makes me a quarter lesbian)... or funky like "that boy gots some moves" (although I gots some skillz in the motion department and I did beat Mr. Seattle in a dance off (in my mind)(he was all frenetic and new agey in his movements, started to throw me off, almost lost my groove, then I got all zened out and busted a major robot on him... the pure poetry of my jerky yet calming motions won the day and Mr. Seattle was reduced to tears and the last time I saw him he was scatting in the corner))... Funky in a kind of Astral Plane or holistic way... I am like the butterflies in Mexico... their #'s fluctuate with the health of the planet (or is it the newts?)... so it is actually my psychic energies fluctuating... has little to due with my general blood sugar or caffeine intake... those would be just conversation points, little more... On a side note, for breakfast I had one of the most perfect foods known to man... A blueberry poptart... the vending guy has been loading them into the machine lately, so for fity cent I get some yummy goodness... I figure the only thing better would be a shredded pork poptart... or maybe a jimmy dean spicey poptart... heated in the toaster, sexy hot sausage and sticky sweet sugar... yeah... and sprinkles... sprinkles... Speaking of sweet, and hot, and sprinkles... You may have heard this several times by now, but me and the old lady are having our 10 year anniversary this week... AMAZING... not that we were SOMEHOW able to stick it out, or that she was able to put up with my crap for so long... I don't know, it is just amazing... I am shocked and awed that I was slick enough, at one point in time, to be able to catch her eye... I remember this one time, sitting in this astronomy class I was taking... me and this dude would sit there and watch her come walking in... he told me she was his girlfriend or some crap like that and I mentioned that he shouldn't be talking about my future wife in that way... for real... That was like 13 years ago, I believe... The first time I said howdy to her she thought I was a complete dork... all in my flannel and baseball cap and barefeet and all... ahh, all the memories... I could go on and on... ahhh, I'm remembering... OK, so it is several hours since I began this damn thing... blood sugar should be normalized as I have eaten my daily Bowl Noodle, will be drinking another cup of coffee shortly, Vitamin Water... may take a Happy Camper or two (or ten, yeah, ten... fantastic elated camper... freaky wild eyed camper... I want a bottle of super trippy spaced out camper...) So did I mention that me and DNA are going to the ocean for a couple days? Thursday and Friday and Saturday (leaving on thursday, returning on friday) and the chirrens are going to stay with the Gparents? Yes (YES!!!), they are indeed... so here is how it goes... the last time or so that they kids had a overnighter somewhere and we were left on our own, well, there was some confusion... Like, what the hell do we do now... Parents, faced with unlimited freedom all of a sudden, well, it ain't a pretty sight... kinda like those shows on the Discovery Channel, where the lions have been kept in captivity for rehabilitation and then they are introduced into the wild... you know, all drugged up so they can be transported, then theres a lot of banging, then this bright light and people standing around shoosen you towards your destiny... then these poor lions, they take a couple shaky steps, kinda look around like, "you've got to be kidding", then they start to run off, first one direction then the other, until they disappear into the distance... the happy people who let them loose all high fivin' each other and walkin away... What they don't see is the poor (once mighty, yo) lion cowering under a bush, pawin at the tag in its ear and wondering where the hell they are... imagine, being taken from someplace familiar, being hassled by a bunch of scientists (these are the children) for a while and then being released someplace completely different... its no wonder that so many of them end up doing something something something... eh, you get the picture... So yeah, I guess that means we will be released into the wild, free to ride scooters and not have to prepare full meals every 15 minutes that never get eaten (the meals, not the 15 minutes, didn't feel like changing the sentence... screw you mister editor...), heck, we may even be able to have a conversation, although that would probably involve the kids anyhow... So off we will go, like spooked animals, to Long Beach, WA... gonna stay in a friends "cabin on the beach"... I have no idea what to expect in that, I have gone from it being a multi-storied palace with a balcony you can see the water from, to a little shack surrounded by much bigger and nicer places with a view of some scrub and its cold and shit... I am hoping more towards the palace... Of course, wherever DNA goes, there be heaven... Posted 4/10/2006 at 5:38 PM |
Thursday April 6, 2006
Ahh, self censorship... If you censor yourself does that make you a bastard? Heh... uhhh... well, let me tell you, I only do it for your own good... my personal form of censorship typically involves screening out the pure crap that you would be forced to read... For rizzle... imagine the worse you have read of me... now imagine the shit you didn't get to read... pure poo... RRrrrrrrggghhhh... the howling monkeys in my butt are getting all stirred up... Just got up on my stump and explained to the fella's about how they are all pawns in the game, owned by the brand... Was trying to explain how the mass media (prime time television) is really all about branding and common elements designed to draw them in and make them good consumers... see, the plan isn't really to entertain, but to give people something to socialize over... talk about around the water cooler... once you are branded you then bond with like branded individuals thus forming purchasing "pods", so to speak... So you watch lost, come to work and talk about it... if you didn't catch it, not a problem, you have Tivo or iTunes.. you are part of a tribe... the tribe constitutes buying power... you are in a cycle... its all explained in "get back in the box" which I have mentioned before... Heh, being a "different drummer" I am already ornery enough (or a "Freak" as some say) so it isn't like I really need someone to tell me that things are evil... I see evil everywhere... but I also believe there is a need for evil... much like a need for death and eating meat... For real, everything dies, especially pigs, so if it is dead it is ok to eat... as long as it didn't die directly because of or for me... Now some people would say that the fact that there is a market for pork for me to eat directly implicates me in the little piggy's death... I call bullshit... the theory of pure sustenance farming has been shown over and over not to hold any water... eh, but it ain't really my fight... especially considering my views on chickens... Now if people don't want to eat meat, thats fine, nothing wrong with that... but the whole ALF thing, yeah, they need to be kicked in the nuts... Lets see... who else should I piss off... uh, guns are bad... drugs should be legalized and regulated, but the FDA should not be involved with it unless they go through some massive restructuring... boobies and swearing on TV should be allowed, how about after 9pm... like in Canada... the borders between Canada and Mexico should be opened, thats right, just open them the hell up... Energy should be regulated better, subsidized... that includes all fossil fuels, etc... renewable or reusable fuels should be the norm, dammit... biodiesel and that shit made from corn should be the norm... a minimum amount of vacation should be required of all Americans, and that minimum should be at least 3 weeks... yeah, ya'll are required to take at least 3 weeks of time off, 2 of those weeks can be used in any combination, but one of those weeks must be consecutive days off... high density housing and more public open spaces should be mandated... neighborhood pea-patch garden type things, and community bbq's, bring the people together... (heh, community pig pens, with the local untouchable doing the butchering...but you don't eat your own community pig, the pig gets butchered and then lotteried out and likewise will your community gets its own pig to eat, its a loophole)... conspiracy theorists should be locked into little confusing rooms and bombarded with images of their favorite theories being debunked, interspersed with subliminal instructions to get a life... Quebec should secede from the rest of Canada, let them see if they can do it on their own, and when they fail (which they will, they have no sustainable economy of their own and they are french type people) Canada will take them back with open arms but continually remind them that "we told you so"... Ahh, somebody get me a valium... Now I am ALL worked up... someone is most likely gonna get smacked today, very possibly gonna be me myself... but altogether possible that my hand will fly on its own (That was a warning, Highness. The next time my hand flies on its own, for where I come from there are penalties when a woman lies)... Posted 4/6/2006 at 11:32 AM |
Wednesday April 5, 2006
Ahhh, Everything is calm this morning... even the howling monkeys that live in my butt are quiet... Life is good... Enjoyed spending some quality time with the family last night... didn't get to go for a walk but took the ladies out to dinner to celebrate my merit increase (and because it was a beautiful night and I felt like havin' a little mexican)... Holy Shit... after talkin up the angels yesterday Jessica decided to exert her authority over all the world yesterday... I swear, she weighs maybe 30-40 lbs, but it is all muscle and ornery... I am sure she was a bit tired, but DAMN!!! She frightens me, just a little bit... and DUDE!!! we went to get some icecream, kinda suprised the girls... so I was driving all over hell and back and we finally pull into the parking lot at the ice cream place and my lovely wife is all like, "who screams for ice cream???" and suddenly I was thrust into this white light... my whole world was tossed upside down and shattered... Jessica (sitting right behind me, figure about 8 inches from the back of my head) let out one of her patented white heat screams... Holy shit, and I mean this, my ears were ringing... I swear I almost blacked out... I was all dazed and completely confused, had no idea where I was or what had happened... Fiona added a little to the bottom spectrum, but Jessica shattered the db's... Whoa... Ok, so the farm... I have this feeling that it is gonna turn into a commune... people all over the place, livin in trailers and tents (yurts hopefully)... If this happens we are gonna need a couple things... 1) a mud pit... we will resolve all our conflicts in the mud... 2) a disreputable doctor to prescribe cutting edge medicines for all our littlest aches and pains and ADD... 3) an untouchable or two... let them do the slaughtering and butchering... Otherwise I think we got it covered... everyone can help out with the farming and harvesting... I will do the network admin stuff and be the shaman... I am hoping that since the next Dalai Lama will not be found in Chinese occupied territories that perhaps he (or she) will be found on the commune... maybe it will be Holden... I can already sense that he is special... not quite sure in what way yet though... you know how these disturbances in the force go... he could be on the dark side... but I digress... ...and I continue to digress... So I gots my laptop... I named it Lucky when I was setting it up... Fiona says I named it Lucky 'cause I am lucky to have it... I am thinking about changing the name to Lappy... aren't I creative... So what the hell am I supposed to do with it now? It has made my life complete... I want for nothing more (heh, perfect family and a laptop is all you need people)... Actually, I do NEED a few more things... really to round out the full enhancement of my pleasure... 1) AC converter for Lappy to power it in the Car... 2) a 1gb flash drive... 3) at least 512mb more ram 4) Harness to strap Lappy between the seats for movie enjoyment 5) Ooohh, a sweet ass laptop bag, for carrying it, you know... 6) one of them little USB fans that plug into the side... 7) Editing software so I can hook the camcorder up, download the stuff, and burn it to DVD Uhh, well apparently I half not quite complete... my life is in shambles... I NEED sooo many things... must commit myself to living a better life through gadgetery and electronics purchases... I will print this out, and tape it to the mirror in my bathroom "What are you going to Purchase today to complete your life" and "We do not define ourselves by the gadgets we own, but the gadgets we own define who we are"... Posted 4/5/2006 at 1:30 PM |
Tuesday April 4, 2006
Ahhh,
Posted 4/4/2006 at 10:25 AM |
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